Death (XIII) is the 13th trump or Major Arcana card in most traditional Tarot decks. The Death card signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start.
“For Life and Death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.” – Khalil Gibran
The one thing King or commoner can be certain of is death. So it is not surprising that upon seeing a skeleton or a grim reaper featured on the Death card folk shrink in horror, taking it to be an omen, to be forecasting a physical death.
In Medieval times the card was indeed reinforcing the social message that we each have an appointment with death. However, these days, rather than scare the horses, some tarot readers are quick to point out that pulling the Death card rarely represents a physical death. They reassure the querent that this card is one of the most positive cards because, more often than not, it implies an end, possibly of a relationship or interest.
In a death denying society it is little wonder that, for the uninitiated, seeing the Death card in a reading can be enough to give the fearful a bad dose of anxiety and send them searching the internet to check if that sudden migraine is actually the beginning of a brain tumor.
This diversionary tactic ignores the fact that words such as endings, failure, letting go of attachments, mortality, profound change and severe illness are associated with this card. To ignore some of these and focus on ‘positivity’ is to ignore ‘the elephant in the room’. Surely it is more honest and beneficial to be facing and talking about death! By not talking about and facing death we not only lose our control but we seriously limit our options. When we don’t speak openly we literally don’t know what’s coming next in terms of disease progression, treatment options, when to stop treatment, and how to plan around our preferences for the end of our lives, and after.
Over twenty years ago I volunteered at the Melbourne City Mission, providing therapeutic writing courses for palliative care staff and carers. Seven years ago I was a facilitator for the first Death Cafe in the town I moved to after my husband’s death. Both experiences have affirmed how empowering and life affirming it is to talk about death.
A Shifting Approach Gains Momentum
“The greater our knowledge increases, the more our ignorance unfolds.” John F. Kennedy
A movement to bring about change, a shift away from empowering funeral homes to determine how we mark the death of a loved one is happening in Australia. Jenny Briscoe-Hough has been general manager of the Port Kembla NSW Community Project for over 20 years and has been working on providing alternative, affordable funerals for the past 14. Funerals, she says, “can be not good or they can be absolutely transformational. It doesn’t have to be a cold and rushed formal service, followed by desultory sandwiches. It can be far more imaginative than that.
Being courageous enough to explore and embrace death and its aftermath as the natural and sacred end of our lives really enhances the quality and depth of our living.
Zenith Virago
Wild Mother Calling 